Nothing much new but feeling the need to blog ...

The problem with being in your second year teaching overseas is that life just seems normal now. I wake up early, get ready, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV (actually, I don't really understand much on TV, but sometimes I just like the noise), and then I go to bed. Same as home, only I can't stop off for a glass of wine after work with friends or go to Blockbuster to rent a movie. Work is the same - stressful! I am done with the Early Decision applications and letters of recommendation, but I can FEEL the looming onset of Regular Decision. In just a few weeks time I will be inundated with over 1000 applications that represent the hopes and dreams of a bunch of Bulgarian students who have worked for the past five years for this moment - their chance to leave the confines of Bulgaria and enter the world "out there." In the past, this opportunity represented a chance for them to get out of poverty, gain a good education, get a good job, and help their family out. This sentiment is still there - I mean, Bulgaria is still pretty economically unstable compared to the rest of Europe, but there definitely has been improvement, even in the short time since we have been here. At any rate, I feel a great sense of responsibility, and this year as the only counselor the pressure is weighing on me even more. But, until the kids tell me where they are applying and I know who needs letters, there isn't much I can do except sit around and stress out. I'm pretty much stressed about nothing - for some reason I can't stop being stressed. This has led me to go full force regarding our plans for next year. Pete and I have decided to apply two places: Portland and CIS (Council of International Schools). Although the hiring process is months off, I have decided we urgently need to get everything done, which means I have spent the last few days updating our resumes, writing application essays, and filling out the blanks. Actually, thinking about it now, that's probably why I am stressed ... we have no idea where we will be or what we will be doing come June 2007. A huge part of me (of us, I think) wants to go home, but there is another more practical side that knows if we went to another school abroad we could make enough money to come home and buy a house. This debate has been going on in my mind since last year, and there is never an answer (and won't be until February at the earliest). The one consolation is that if we did go somewhere else we would be home every six months (Christmas and summer) - that's been established. Oojiss (as the Bulgarians say when they are exasperated). Anyway, now I'm just rambling. Maybe ramblings are thoughts that shouldn't go on a blog, but it does feel good to just sit down and write without thinking about where you are going. I guess, when it comes down to it and to get back to where I started, this is truly what's going on in my day during my second year teaching abroad. There are no new adventures to talk about or travels to speak of; just day-to-day life and life decisions weighing on my mind. Sometimes that's as new of an adventure as it gets.
I hope everyone is well. I love and miss all of you so much!